Japanese Funeral & Manners
JAPANESE FUNERALS
Funerals are never happy news. We all wish that we
do not have to face our beloved ones in such a
setting. However, when we do, we want to express
our deep condolences by mourning and praying for
them. Understanding and knowing the traditional
Japanese funeral manners will help us express
respect to the deceased as well as to their families
and relatives.
Japanese religion lies in Buddhism and although details
of practices can vary depending on sects, general
practice is shared. Also, even when Buddhism is not
regularly practiced in the family, funerals tend to be
based on the Buddhist style when held
FUNERAL WAKES AND MEMORIAL SERVICE
OTSUYA (Wake ceremony)
“Otsuya” is a ceremony where close family and
relatives regret parting of their loved one by staying
up the whole night in the same room with the
departed. Originally, only the bereaved and close
relatives attended. However, in the recent years,
it has become so that persons who are unable to
attend the memorial (funeral) ceremony, stop by to
show their condolences. Make sure to inform the
bereaved of your visit before hand in this case.
Wake ceremonies are therefore announced and usually
start from 6 p.m. or 7 p.m. and lasts for 1-2 hours.
SOUGI (Funeral ceremony)
“Sougi” is a ceremony where close relatives gather to
pray for repose of the departed soul and peace for its
spirit.
KOKUBETSUSHIKI (Memorial ceremony)
“Kokubetsushiki” is a ceremony where friends and
acquaintances gather to say their goodbyes.
“Sougi” is to be followed by “Kokubetsushiki”.
However, these ceremonies are often times joined
together as one ceremony. At this time, this
ceremony would be referred to as
“Sougi / Kokubetsushiki”.
*“Osoushiki” (Funeral) refers to the whole funeral process
including the above ceremonies and the cremation
ceremony.
WHAT TO WEAR
Men
Black formal suit with white business shirt, black ties and
no tie pins. Belts, socks, shoes should also be black
Dark navy or grey suits are okay for wakes.
Women 
Black formal one-piece dress suit or a black formal
kimono. Bags, shoes, stockings should also be black.
Shiny material such as enamel, as well as leather
and furs are considered improper (Leather bags/
shoes are okay). No ccessories should be worn
except for marriage ring, and a single pearl necklace,
if any. Black or dark colored suits or one-piece dress
should be okay for wakes.
OKODEN (Offering/Condolence money)
Okoden started out when incense was offered at funerals
to comfort the soul of the deceased. This incense scent
worked as a deodorizer after the earth burial. In the past,
Okoden has turned into rice or vegetable offerings as
well, however, in the present, since the host of the funeral
prepares the necessities, the offering turned to cash as a
meaning to bear cost of the incense and also, as a show
of mutual support towards the bereaved for their
unexpected expense.
Crisp new bills should never be used for Okoden. This
comes from the thought that preparation of new bills
suggests unfortune had been foresaw.
The amount varies on your relationship with the
deceased. 5,000 yen or 10,000 yen should be
appropriate for friend/colleague. Be careful to avoid
the numbers 4 and 9 at funerals. 4 can be read as
“shi” in Japanese, which sounds the same as death
and 9 can be read as “ku” and this can suggest the
word “kurushii” which means suffering.
INCENSE OFFERING
Move to the position in front of the altar and bow to the
bereaved relatives. Move to the altar and bow deeply.
Take one step forward to offer incense. After you have
finished offering incense, place the balms of your
hands together in prayer and slightly lower your head.
Take one step back facing the altar and bow deeply
before returning to your seat.
2 types of incense: MAKKO and SENKO
MAKKO- incense powder
Using the 3 fingers (thumb, index,
middle) of your right hand, take a
pinch of the powder incense.
Lower your head slightly and bring
it to your forehead before sprinkling
them into the incense burner.
Repeat this 1-3 times. The number
of times for this process depends
on the religious sect.
SENKO-incense stick
Pick up the incense using your right hand and light it with 
the candle. Number of incense
here can be 1-3 depending on the religious sect. Use your left hand to put out the flame. Take caution never to blow out the flame.
Place it in the incense burner.
Again, depending on the religious
sect, the incense will be either
laid down or set up. If you will be
setting up the incense, place it
slightly apart from each other to prevent smoke from
clouding together and also place it in the rear section so
that following attendees will have enough space to place
their incense.
Click >> Real Estate Information (Apartment, Houses & Offices) in Tokyo
Click >> Furniture Lease & Sales in Tokyo
Click >> Relocation Support Services in Tokyo
